The Department of Lost & Found by Allison Winn Scotch

Author:Allison Winn Scotch [Scotch, Allison Winn]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Fiction, Contemporary Women, Literary, Family Life, General
ISBN: 9780061161421
Google: lEuboWUHkK0C
Amazon: 006116142X
Publisher: Harper Collins
Published: 2009-10-12T16:00:00+00:00

239

I have taken that time to say, hey, even with you around, I feel incomplete, worried that you already have one bag packed?

Without a doubt. But the thing is this: Without him here, I worry that I won’t just feel incomplete, I’ l feel empty. God knows it was bad enough having my dog save the day just this once. Of having my dog be the one being whom I can trust completely. Even if Jake goes away now and then, and even if he’s increasingly distracted with their new album and slightly in awe of his rising fame, isn’t it better to take a chance on him than wait for my dog to wake up one day and find my cold, dead body splayed on the floor?

I know. You’re tel ing me that it’s not. That I’m finally answering the question that I’ve long been plagued by: Is enough truly enough? But the thing is, Diary, I’m tired. I’m 30 and I’m single and I have cancer and I’m tired. And if my not-so-perfect boyfriend wants to pretend that he’s a martyr and occasionally wants to try to rescue me, far be it from me to tel him not to try.

And anyway, I should probably tell you that Zach and Lila stopped by my hospital room. Together. Days of Our Lives was just finishing up, and I was contemplating a nap when they knocked on the door and came in. Lila brought flowers—“from us,” she said, while Zach thrust his hands into his lab coat and looked at the floor like a second grader who had just been scolded by his teacher. After Lila had to rush back to work—she came on her lunch hour, which objectively, I know, is very sweet—he looked at me and shrugged.

“What’s that about?” I said.

“She told me that she thought we should visit, and I couldn’t offer up a reasonable explanation as to why we shouldn’t.”

“So she has no idea? Doesn’t know about dinner the other week or what you said? Or our brush with fame and fortune in 240

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the game show world?” To be fair, I hadn’t mentioned the trip to Jake, either.

“She doesn’t want to hear it,” he said. “Every time I bring up how I feel, or where we are or aren’t going with this, she shuts me down.” He sighed. “You know how she can be. She’s like a train, and we’re all just the tracks that she rides over.”

I didn’t think that I was in a position to judge, given that I was living with my quasi-boyfriend, so I just smoothed the sheets of my bed and told him that it was nice to see him. Even in these circumstances. He kissed me on the cheek and told me that he’ d cal this weekend to see how I was, and then he got back to his rounds.

He shut the door, and I stared up at Passions .

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